Thursday, 19 November 2009

14 weeks, 2 days & counting

Last Sunday we went to a rememberance service for all those who died in the last year. I never thought I'd get through it but I did and I was glad I went for Zakk. I'm due to return to work on Monday, something I dread only because it feels like I'm having to move on with life and go back to normality, and I dont want to do either. The thought of life going on and our wee man not here living it with us is too awful to dwell on. People keep asking me about Christmas and if my daughter is excited, the truth is I dont even want to think about it. Its cancelled as far as I'm concerned, and while we will make an effort for her sake, shes so young it wont need to be much of an effort which is fine by me. I know life goes on, but I dont have to like it...nor do I need reminding of that all too obvious fact...

Today I discovered 7 day candles. Not sure how I missed them before but I guess I wasnt looking. So Zakks grave is lit up now day and night, a silly little detail but one that makes me feel a little better, and I make no apology for doing whatever it takes to get me through each day.

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